-
Ebbs and Flows
First off, welcome to my new website! I’ve made it a personal goal of mine, in 2018, to blog at least once a month about a given subject. I hope you all enjoy my musings and ramblings.
On Sunday, I celebrated my 1 year anniversary with my wife, April. We were discussing how much had changed since the wedding and how it was surreal. Here we were, eating dinner in DC, when one year ago, we were living in Texas and just about to go on our honeymoon. The idea of being in Maryland never crossed our minds but he we were. And it made us realize that we really don’t know what the future holds. We started to feel a little down.
I’ve always struggled, in my life, on handling change. I enjoy the status quo and when it changes, I get hung up on the “why”. When change happens, I’m tend to play out every scenario in my head. I doubt my decisions and, sometimes, I even blame myself.
“Why did this happen?”
“How could this have been prevented?”
“Do you think I could have done something different to prevent the change?”
I eventually move on but then I’m then faced with a new change and the cycle starts anew. You can be sure that this was a cycle I went through when we moved to Maryland.
In software, it’s easy to get lost in the negative during change. There are high points such as shipping a new feature, tackling a technical problem, or even launching your side project. But there are low points that stick out more: servers falling over, production outages, poorly written code, colleagues leaving, etc. Is this normal to feel like everything is negative?
Yes, it is normal. It is too easy to get stuck on the negative and lose sight of the positive. Negativity will likely be followed by positivity, though. Understanding this was one of the biggest personal growths I had in 2017. I still struggle with seeing the postiive sometimes but I’m better at seeing the cycle.
Moving to Maryland had its share of negativity. We left our home, our friends, and our life that we built in Texas. We question if we made the right decision. But April and I have had immense personal growth because of moving. We are different people than we were last year. We are more aware of the negative and positive emotional cycle we feel. We realize that change can be good.
Whenever you are feeling that everything is negative, try to remember that it is only a temporary feeling. Remember that there will be positive moments. Use the positive moments to recognize your wins and the great things you’ve accomplished. And use this time to notice, too, that life has its ebbs and flows.